Forbidden Dreams
by glaewen21
Summary: Hermione Weasley seemed to have a perfect life. She had a loving husband, beautiful children, and caring friends. But behind her ordinary exterior lies many secrets that none would expect...rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hey guys! Thank you so much for choosing to read my fan fic. I know the whole Ginny and Hermione thing is a bit cliché but it's my first ever fan fic and I really do think they make a cute couple ^.^ I also in no way own anything in regards to Harry Potter. I just enjoy the books and the movies very much. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 1

Hermione Granger was running down a long, dark hall and looking wildly around her as she ran. "Dad!" she called through the darkness. Her father was sick…very sick…and lost. He had wondered off into a cruel world full of people who would never understand what was wrong with him. No one could possibly understand the words coming out of his mouth or the thoughts running through his head. Most of the time Hermione doubted even he could comprehend the thoughts running through his mind.

Alzheimer's was a dreadful disease and for her father to have been diagnosed with it at the young age of 55 was truly heartbreaking for the Grangers. Hermione was only 26 years old, married, and pregnant with her first child when she heard the news. It crushed her even more than the rest of her family it seemed. Of course taking into account that being pregnant Hermione was just full of those warm and fuzzy hormones as well as the fact that her mother rarely showed such strong emotions unless she was alone or with her husband.

Within the first year of Mr. Granger's diagnosis Hermione was trying to balance not only her father's illness and her mother's suppressed emotions, but a new baby in the house, work, and her husband as well. All of this was piled onto Hermione's shoulders like a giant boulder. When eventually the boulder got too heavy, Hermione snapped and had a complete mental breakdown. Needless to say that her mother and her father and her husband Ron begged her to see a psychiatrist for the sake of her baby girl if nothing else. Hermione finally caved and as a result she was diagnosed with clinical depression. She decided to tell no one of this, thinking her family had enough stress to deal with as it was. Every morning after Ron would go to work, Hermione would secretly take antidepressants that were prescribed for her. Everyone thought that therapy alone was all she needed.

All the while Mr. Granger was feeling and immense amount of guilt for his daughter's breakdown. He always blamed himself for putting the most stress on the family. Hermione was never told this but she could always tell how guilty her father felt by the way he looked at her (or didn't look at her) or by the way he talked to her (or didn't talk to her). All of that stress was helping the disease to progress even more rapidly. But eventually he stopped being guilty when he reached the point when most days he couldn't even remember that he had a daughter.

And now he's all alone somewhere…lost and confused. Hermione just kept running. She was also lost but she didn't care in the least. She just wanted to find her father and bring him home safe. As she ran, her gasps for breath became desperate sobs.

Finally she stopped running and looked around her hopelessly. She was now in a dark, circular room. It was just light enough, however, for Hermione to be able to see a dark figure in the center of the room. The room was too dark to determine what (or who) the figure was.

"Lumos!" she whispered and the tip of her wand lit up. Hermione lifted a trembling hand so the light of her wand would fall on the figure. It was indeed a man with his back towards Hermione. Her heart pounded in her chest. The room was as silent as a graveyard and it frightened the witch terribly.

"Dad?" she tried to call to the man but she could not find her voice in the deep silence of the room. Hermione knew it was her father standing there even though it seemed to be just the back of a bent, old man. She tried to move but her feet were held fast to the floor. Whether it was from fear or from some outside force, she could not tell. Hermione looked around her trying to see if the room looked at all familiar. Oh yes….It looked familiar all right. It was in this very room that Hermione and all her friends made a stand at the Ministry of Magic fifteen years ago.

The walls and the floor were made of a very dark grey stone, almost black. In the center of the room, Mr. Granger stood in place of the phantom veil where Sirius Black disappeared fifteen years prior. How did she get in here? And more importantly, how was she going to get out?

Hermione was finally able to move her feet and she slowly approached the man. "D-Dad?" she called and came around to face him. She gasped, stumbled back a few paces, and screamed. As she screamed she dropped her wand and the light went out. But the image she saw was already engraved into her mind. What she saw was and incredibly old version of her father. His face was chalky and white and his eyes were clouded over. The white hair that hung about his shoulders was long and incredibly thin. The only sign of life coming from the man was the slow, occasional blink every few seconds. He didn't seem to notice Hermione at all and he didn't even seem to be breathing.

As soon as Hermione started to scream, the old man disappeared in a puff of black smoke. Hermione backed against the wall, watching the smoke swirl around the room in horror. It gathered in the middle of the room and swirled like a miniature tornado. The smoke was spinning faster and faster until it transformed into a pedestal. Upon the pedestal was a golden cup. Even though it was gold, the cup let off an illuminating red glow.

As Hermione slowly approached the cup, she saw many runes engraved on the side. When she reached the cup, the red glow was reflecting off of her face. With her heart hammering in her chest Hermione looked more closely at the mysterious cup. On the side of the cup she could make out the word "Triwizard." It was the Triwizard cup! A sound of faint whispering could be heard coming from the cup. She couldn't figure out what the voices were saying but Hermione figured it was the same exact whispering that Harry and Luna had heard coming from the veil in their fifth year at Hogwarts.

A strange urge came over Hermione to touch the cup. She knew that all the common sense in the world would strongly advise against it but she couldn't help being drawn to it. Something would definitely happen if she touched the cup. Hermione had no doubt in her mind about that. But could she resist the urge? No. She could not. The witch clutched one of the cup's handles with a still trembling hand.

At first nothing happened and Hermione let out a small sigh of relief. But then the whispers slurred together to make a sound much like a harsh and gusting wind. After that the wind turned into a loud scream. Hermione winced but didn't let go of the cup. She couldn't. Her hand was stuck. The cup's evil red glow brightened and the scream came to an abrupt halt. Then the whispering began again. The witch's eyes were wide with fear. She didn't know what to expect.

Suddenly Hermione felt a rather forceful pressure coming from what seemed to be the inside of her stomach. Beads of sweat broke out on Hermione's brow and she let out a groan of utter displeasure. The whispers were starting to get louder but she still couldn't make out what they were saying. To Hermione, it felt like she was being punched from the inside of her abdomen.

Hermione was so distracted by the forceful pressure coming from inside her and the whispering that she didn't realize she was slowly leaning towards the cup. When she did realize it her breath caught in her throat and everything stopped. The pressure and the whispers both stopped and not a single sound could be heard. Only about two seconds had gone by like this when everything came back in full force and Hermione was sucked into the cup. At least that's what it felt like.

The sounds of the whispering as well as the sound of her own heartbeat filled Hermione's ears. Her heartbeat was beating like the drums of doom in her ears. All of a sudden pictures began to flash before Hermione's eyes like so many streaks of lightning in a storm.

She didn't see all of the pictures flashing before her eyes, but a select few stuck in her memory. Her father walking a busy street in a clueless fog. Harry and Ginny's wedding day. Ron scarlet with fury causing destruction. Her mother giving her a cold look before turning her back on her. Ginny sitting on her bed in her old room at the Burrow, looking down at her tear filled hands. Her precious daughter, Rose, holding on to her mother for dear life. The last picture made Hermione's stomach clench. Ginny and-

"Hermione!"


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hey guys! Here is the next chapter of Forbidden Dreams. I want to thank all of those who added this story and wrote reviews. You guys really inspire me to write =] I apologize now if I don't post chapters as often as any would like. I'm still working out how best to move on with the plot. Thanks!

Chapter 2

"Hermione!" Hermione awoke with a gasp and opened her eyes to find her husband, Ron, leaning over her with a look of sincere concern on his face. She was drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.

"Are you alright love?" Ron placed a warm hand on Hermione's cheek. "You're face is all cold and clammy." For a moment Hermione said nothing and relished the feel of her husband's warm and loving hand on her cheek. Then she remembered that dream and it sent her into a fresh wave of panic. "Fine. It was just a dream….Go back to sleep Ron."

Hermione quickly broke free of her husband's touch, jumped out of bed, and sped to the bathroom. After she locked the door behind her, she heard Ron's voice through the door. "Hermione, are you sure you're ok? What's wrong? Talk to me." Hermione rested her head against the bathroom door, trying to gain control before answering so Ron wouldn't suspect anything. No matter what, her voice still sounded high and uneven. "I'll be okay Ron. I don't feel well. I-I think I'm going to be sick. Just a fever dream." She added this part so quietly it was almost as if she were trying to assure herself. If he really wanted to, Hermione knew Ron could unlock the door with just a simple flick of his wand. Hopefully Ron would respect her privacy more than that.

The truth was that Hermione didn't feel sick at all. She felt like she was going to break down in tears. Hermione was always a sensitive person and everyone knew it, but she still did not want anyone finding out about her depression yet. Not even her own husband. She muttered a silencing spell under her breath so that neither Ron nor her children would be able to hear her.

Moments after casting the spell, Hermione dropped her wand and nearly collapsed. Luckily she was able to catch her self by leaning on the counter for support. A sob escaped her lips as she focused on the images shown to her in the dream. That last image had shaken her very badly. Hermione put her hands over her face and let all the tears and emotions flow. She hoped with all of her heart that everything could just wash off in the sink. Unfortunately only tears fell in that sink that night. That dream had awoken many fears and secrets that Hermione had buried deep in her soul many years ago. The dream had revealed the witch's already shattered heart and there was no burying it now. She knew that very well and yet she still had the slightest ounce of hope that she would be able to bury it once more.

Hermione grabbed her wand and produced a glass. She filled it with water from the sink but her hands were shaking so terribly that much of the water spilled out again. She leaned against the wall opposite of the mirror and took a drink to hopefully calm her down. At first it seemed to work. The trembling had stopped as well as the sobbing and the heavy breathing. Looking in the mirror, Hermione saw a woman trapped in a cage. Doomed to spend the rest of her life ultimately unhappy no matter what everyone else thought. Only one person saw right through her mask….but she couldn't think about that. This can't happen again. _I can't get hurt like that again._ She thought to herself, _never again._ Hermione despised the woman in the mirror and she wanted her to die.

A sudden change came over her and she threw the partially empty glass of water at the mirror and they both shattered into a million pieces. Tears ran down her face as she watched the destruction she had just caused. She basked in the bitter sweet irony of it. Her heart had done the exact same thing seven years ago. She slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor with her face in her hands. Her tears spilled through her fingertips as she went over the images in her head again. It dawned on her as she mentally flipped through them all that all but one of these scenes had never come to be: Harry and Ginny's wedding. It was a memorable day for Hermione. A day that she would never forget.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knocking on the bathroom door. "Hermione? Are you okay? Do you need anything?" said Ron through the door. Hermione quickly undid the silencing spell. Her throat was sore from sobbing so much so she had to clear it before she spoke. "I'll be okay love. Go on back to bed." she said in a weak voice. The silence coming from the other side of the door told Hermione that her husband reluctantly obeyed. "Reparo" she whispered and within seconds the mirror and the glass looked as good as new. Hermione took a deep breath, sniffed, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

She immediately sat bolt upright when a thought suddenly came to her. Getting up off of the floor and unlocking the bathroom door as fast as she could, Hermione ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. In the dark living room, Hermione fumbled for the muggle telephone that they kept for emergencies as well as for her parents. She picked up the phone and hurriedly dialed her parents' number from memory. Hermione listened with growing suspense to the ringing on the other line. It rang four times…five times…six times. Hermione was about to give up when someone answered just before the seventh ring.

"Hello?" came the groggy voice of her mother from the other end. In Hermione's panicked state, she couldn't tell if her mother's voice sounded like that from sleep or from crying. It was typical of her to have paranoid thoughts of the like since before she was diagnosed with depression. It was a habit that the witch would sell her soul to get rid of. But when these thoughts entered her head, she could rarely get them out again without proof that she was wrong. "Mum, it's me. What's wrong?" Hermione couldn't help the urgency in her voice when she was so sure that something was wrong. "You're calling at three o'clock in the bloody morning. That's what's wrong." Mrs. Granger wasn't necessarily angry at her daughter for the early call, but she had a note of impatience in her voice.

"Where's dad? Is he okay?" her words came rushing out of her mouth. "You're dad is sound asleep in bed which is where I was as well before you called. He is as fine as he'll ever be. Why do you ask, dear?" a hint of concern was heard in her mother's voice now at her daughter's paranoia. Relief flooded through Hermione's body like a warm, heartening draught. She did not realize that she was holding her breath until she let out a big sigh. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Ron rushing down the stairs and over to her side but she ignored him for the moment. "Never mind mum. I suppose it was just a bad dream. I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's quite alright dear. Go on back to bed…and stay away from those magic drinks! That flaming gin or whatever it's called. No good will come of you drinking that stuff. Mark my words!" Hermione smiled slightly at her mother's nagging words. "Okay mum. Good night." After she got a "good night" in return she hung up the phone and chuckled at her own paranoid thoughts. Ron put an arm around his wife's shoulders, "Was that what the dream was about? Your dad?" In the gloom, Hermione could see a small tired grin on her husband's face. She resented it slightly. He was so quick to believe Harry's dreams were real all those years ago. Why couldn't her dreams be real? Real or not, Hermione did not find her nightmare at all humorous. Needing to be alone but not wanting to hurt Ron's feelings, she gently shrugged out of his arms and headed back upstairs. Ron stared after her with a small grin still on his face while Hermione muttered something about going back to bed. Hermione lay on her side of the bed and looked at the ceiling. Now that she knew her dad was safe and sound, the previous thoughts of that last image in her dream continued to haunt her. Christmas was just around the corner and Hermione would have to face Ginny at the Burrow. How she was going to do that, she didn't know at the moment. But she still had a fortnight to figure that out. Hermione also thought about what her mother had said about drinking firewhiskey. She knew her mother was only joking but, little did she know, there was a bit of truth to that statement. _I don't drink that much. _She thought, _Do I?_


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: sorry but this is going to be a bit of a long chapter. It's important to the plot of the story though since some of it is a flashback. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 3

Christmas was only four days away and Diagon Alley was full of the hustle and bustle of last minute shoppers. Hermione was one of them. She had asked Ron to get presents for Rose and Hugo but he conveniently forgot. Of course Hermione had a few opportunities to go sooner but she had heard that Ginny was there. Whenever Ginny invited Hermione to come along, she pretended to have some last minute decorating or she claimed that she was taking the kids over to her parents' house that day. This was the first opportunity that Hermione got to go Christmas shopping without the risk of running into Ginny.

Ron opted not to go with her to shop for their children and decided he wanted to spend some time with Mr. Granger and listen to his stories about previous holiday celebrations or learn all about the muggle game of football and rugby. On any other occasion Hermione would be thrilled that Ron wanted to spend so much time with her dad but she knew he just wanted an excuse to stay in and eat her mother's cooking. It irked her a bit that he wouldn't even take part in shopping for his own kids' Christmas presents. Rose was going to be turning five years old soon and Hugo had just turned three. She loved to watch them both try to decorate the tree and try to guess what they would be getting on Christmas morning.

Hermione walked down Diagon Alley carrying three boxes. The box for Rose was long and slender. Inside it was a little broomstick for young witches and wizards. Rose had taken to watching her dad and her Uncle Harry play quidditch against her Aunt Ginny and Uncle Bill at the Burrow. Hermione knew that her daughter was a quidditch player in the making. And now with her own broom Rose could fly around with her dad and her aunt and uncles.

The box for Hugo was somewhat small and square. Inside was a brand new copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Amazingly Hugo was already a decent reader for someone at the tender age of three. He definitely took after his mum even though he looked like his dad. Hermione thought of giving him the old copy that Albus Dumbledore had left her when she was seventeen but thought better of it. She decided to wait a few years until he was older and more mature. That book was special to her and she didn't want it to get ruined.

The third was a small, square box of gold for Ron. Hermione had saved up for a very special watch for a long time. It was similar to the clock in the kitchen of the Burrow except it had Ron, Hermione, Rose, and Hugo on it. It worked exactly the same way as Molly Weasley's wall clock. Everyone admired that clock and the watch was very expensive and custom made. Hermione knew how jealous everyone else will be when they see the watch on Christmas. The thought made her smile. She felt immensely guilty because for some reason she felt like she was betraying Ron. _He wasn't suspicious was he?_ Thought Hermione, _He couldn't be. How would he know what happened seven years ago? He had no way of knowing unless she told him…but she wouldn't do that. It's not like I betrayed him. We weren't together. _These thoughts calmed Hermione a bit. Ron wasn't very observant or insightful. If he did notice anything different about her, he couldn't possibly figure out what it was.

All these thoughts were making Hermione's stomach churn. In only a few days she would have to look her fears straight in the eyes of deep, deep hazel. Thinking about those eyes did not help Hermione's anxiety in the least. She sat down on a bench nearby and put her face in her hands. _I'm so stupid! _She thought, _how could I possibly think that I could bury these feelings and they would never come back?_ After a few minutes, Hermione got up, but instead of going home she walked into the Leaky Cauldron.

She walked in the bar to find it bustling with witches, wizards, and creatures of all different shapes and sizes. With difficulty Hermione finally found a deserted corner by the bar and sat on a bar stool. As she waited for Tom the innkeeper, she looked subtly at those closest to her. Was it just Hermione or were they all looking at her? She quickly looked down at her hands and then back up. There was a goblin nearby that she recognized from work. Hermione worked high up in the Gringotts branch at the Ministry but didn't like to advertise it. After all the attention she had gotten as a teenager, Hermione wanted nothing to do at all with the media. She was thankful for the lack of attention her job brought her. What would happen if any of her secrets got out to the general public? Hermione shuddered at the thought.

Next to the goblin were two ragged looking men in black robes. The both had full beards and appeared to be whispering amongst each other in a foreign language. She may have imagined it, but Hermione could swear she saw one of the men throw a quick glance her way from the corner of his eye. The pub was really very loud with much chatter and an occasional drunk singing a song out of tune. Finally she caught Tom's eye and he came bustling over to her. He was obviously very busy with all the other customers but, like it or not, Hermione was in the Daily Prophet every once in a while due to her services during the war and aiding the famous Harry Potter. So Tom gave Hermione a quick bow of his head out of respect and said, "It's an honor to see you again Mrs. Weasley. What may I be bringing you this afternoon?"

Hermione blushed slightly at his obvious courtesy towards her. She didn't feel like she should be respected at all at the moment but she didn't vocalize her opinion. "A firewhiskey if you please, Tom."

Tom gave Hermione a polite smile and he filled a large pint glass of firewhiskey and passed it to her with speed but also with care. Hermione raised her glass as a "thank you" and let the burning liquid slither down her throat and warm her body and loosen her thoughts. A look of relief came over her face even though she never realized it.

She downed her first pint of firewhiskey and ordered her second which Tom sent sailing down the bar to her, happy to have her sitting and enjoying herself at his pub. To all onlookers, that's exactly what she looked like she was doing. Hermione was laughing and seemed to be enjoying herself. After the goblin left, she moved over to sit next to the two amused looking men who were speaking in a foreign language earlier in the afternoon. It turned out that they were both quite fluent in English and they both had a very animated conversation with Hermione about the affairs of vampires in Croatia. As evening came and went, the Leaky Cauldron filled up with even more people than before. Hermione was on her sixth firewhiskey and was the life of the party that night. Many men would buy her shots of a bubbling, dark blue beverage that Hermione never had before. She became fond of it quickly and soon she was joining the chorus of a Weird Sisters song that she barely knew. There were a few men that offered to help her apparate to her house or even to go to their houses, but Hermione politely declined to all of these offers. She was very intoxicated and had Tom not been giving these men a threatening glare or wave of his wand, she probably would have caved in to one or two of those who were quite persistent. But thanks to Tom, Hermione stayed safely at the bar all night.

After midnight passed, most of the crowd had cleared off to go home. Hermione remained at the pub along with a handful of others. The atmosphere flipped over and the Leaky Cauldron was quiet save for the slow, sad music playing somewhere in the background. Hermione's mood was sinking with the atmosphere. At midnight, Tom had cut her off from drinking any more strong alcoholic drinks. So now Hermione brooded over a glass of butterbeer. Once again she sat alone in a corner, looking down at her hands.

Tom was too busy cleaning up after the nighttime rush that he failed to notice the dramatic change that had come over Hermione. She was passing in and out of consciousness and she seemed to be in a sort of trance. It was after Tom had called it a night and was relieved by one of his part time employees that Hermione's state changed for the worse. Her head was bowed so low that her nose almost touched the butterbeer in her full glass. She was looking, but she wasn't seeing anything around her. The world was spinning around her and a beautiful, carefree voice echoed in her head, calling her name. Hermione opened her eyes, lifted her head slightly, and looked around desperately for the person from which the voice came. All the other customers were shady looking men silently drowning their sorrows in alcohol just as she was. But the voice was a woman's voice. It reminded her of a clear fountain of cool water in the springtime. This voice was like the soft singing of some unknown songbird hidden in the boughs of a tree nearby.

Hermione gave in and let the voice flow through her veins and into her soul. Her head bowed so that her nose was, once again, almost touching the butterbeer. The voice beckoned to her and she wanted to oblige but she knew it was wrong. Everything was wrong….but it felt so right. A lost lust filled Hermione as she took pleasure at the sound of the voice calling her name. She didn't want it to stop. The sun was shining and Hermione was flying high in the sky now. Looking down, she saw green hills and an endless forest. Out of the sky she floated gracefully towards the ground like a feather on the wind. She landed on the rocky shore of a dark blue lake:

"_Hermione!" came that light, sweet voice that Hermione knew so well and admired. Hermione was standing at the edge of the lake outside of Hogwarts. When she heard that beautiful voice call to her, she couldn't help but to turn around and smile at the beautiful woman running towards her with her silky red hair blowing behind her as she ran. Whenever Hermione looked upon Ginny Weasley, her heart skipped a beat and she felt an electric tingling sensation running all throughout her body making her feel like a school girl again. She had never experienced such joy as when she looked at Ginny. It was as if Ginny would put a spell on her every time, sending her into a euphoric state. Hermione noticed that Ginny never smiled much in these past four years since her brother Fred was killed in the war as well as many of her friends who fought along side her. But whenever she would meet Hermione's eyes, a genuine smile would spread across those gorgeous lips of hers. _

_As Ginny approached Hermione she sped up and launched her self into Hermione's arms for a tight hug. They both laughed as they stumbled from the force of the bear hug. It was they're usual greeting now. They had become so close that they had been talking about becoming roommates and renting an apartment in London together. In fact, they had already rented one and were prepared to move in a few days._

"_C'mon! They're about to start. We want to get good seats don't we?" said Ginny as she was bouncing on the balls of her feet. Hermione had never seen Ginny so happy even before the war started. They were at Hogwarts for the first time since the death of Voldemort. Minister Shackelbolt had ordered there to be a memorial of the fall of Voldemort and for all those who had fallen during the war. "Don't worry Gin, I'm sure they'll have seats saved for us," said Hermione. "No, they would've saved a seat for you. You have to save a seat for me, remember?" Ginny said half playfully. Hermione rolled her eyes took Ginny's hand and they both ran towards the castle. Neither of them cared how they looked running across the grounds holding hands. No one would dare try to face either one of them in a duel, let alone both of them at the same time. _

_When Ginny and Hermione reached the main doors of Hogwarts, they saw hundreds of seats facing a large mass covered in a red, velvet cloth. The seating arrangement sort of reminded the two women of Dumbledore's funeral. Of course the chairs weren't in this exact spot. The thought brought them both down to a professional level of behavior. Hermione was to be seated in the front row of seats next to Harry and Ron. The two women stopped dead in they're tracks when they saw Harry and Ron. There was a rather awkward moment when no one talked or moved. Harry and Ginny looked each other in the eye and Ginny's glare was so intense that Harry was forced to lower his gaze. When Ron and Hermione looked each other in the eyes, there was no glaring at all. Ron's eyes were wide, almost pleading, and Hermione's eyes were firm but full of shame as well. She was the one to break the eye contact between the two. _

_Hermione took Ginny by the arm and walked over to take their seats. Hermione decided to sit next to Harry instead of Ron. "Hey Hermione," said Harry miserably. "Hi Harry," Hermione greeted him very politely. It was almost as if they had spent decades away from each other. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione could see Harry leaning forward slightly to look over at Ginny. Ginny just stared straight ahead and didn't move a muscle. Hermione squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, "You alright Gin?" Ginny took a deep breath and nodded and the two women linked arms. _

_Three weeks prior to this event, Harry had informed Ginny that he wanted to take a break because he was feeling a bit overwhelmed by, not only the horrors of his past, but also the pressure the public was putting on him to try to become Minister of Magic in a few years as well as ace auror training school. Ginny had told Harry that she did not want to take a break and if his popularity had become so important to him now, he no longer needed her anymore. Harry took it quite hard and had been begging Ginny to come back since then but to no avail. _

_Ron and Hermione, on the other hand, had broken up for the sole purpose that Hermione was not sure she was truly in love with him. At least that was what she had told Ron. Hermione's real reason was way more complicated than anyone would have thought. Ron was hurt deeply by this but Hermione would not back down. She needed to figure out how she really felt about not just Ron, but Ginny as well._

_Harry and Hermione did not have any direct problems with each other. They were just a little withdrawn because of how protective they both were of their best friends. _

_It wasn't long before Kingsley Shackelbolt got up in front of all the guests of the ceremony and made a rather long speech about everyone's toils and heartbreak during the war with Voldemort and his death eaters and how friendship and love had been vindicated over power. At this latter part of the speech, Shackelbolt seemed to look at Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. They had all looked down at their feet and had turned an equal shade of pink on their faces. _

_After the speech was finished and had received a fair amount of applause for it, Shackelbolt waved his wand and the red, velvet cloth flew off of what seemed to be a remake of the old statue that used to stand in the atrium of the Ministry of Magic except that the chests of each wizard, muggle, house elf, goblin, and centaur were engraved the names of all those who had died from each race. There was an awed silence in the crowd when they beheld the memorial. It was Harry who broke the silence by standing up and applauding. Soon everyone in the crowd was applauding the new memorial. _

_After the applause had stopped, Ginny and Ron had gone to find their parents. As soon as Hermione was alone, she was swarmed with reporters wanting interviews and family members of some who had died coming to shake hands with her and thank her (and in one case, cry on her shoulder). Hermione really didn't mind the attention as much, but she wanted more than anything to go get a close look at the memorial. _

_When she had broken through the crowd, she saw Harry kneeling in front of the statue. Hermione walked over and saw that he was looking at the statue of the house elf. A tear was in his eye as he looked upon Dobby's name engraved at the top of the list on the statue's chest. Hermione felt tears welling in her own eyes while she looked at his name. She put an arm around Harry's shoulders in a comforting gesture. Harry appreciated it, for as soon as he felt her arm, he leaned his head against her side. After a minute without moving, Hermione knelt down beside Harry. Harry got out his wand and put her hand on top of his. Without thinking, Hermione guided Harry's hand and wand over Dobby's name. After she let go of his hand, they both looked at what they had done. Dobby's name was now engraved in what looked to be pure gold._

_Harry gave Hermione a quick hug and got up to look at the other statues. Hermione stayed kneeling on the ground, looking at all the other names of the house elves that were killed. She wiped a tear from her eye and looked around. Ginny was staring at her from afar. Hermione's stomach dropped. Was Ginny mad that Hermione was comforting Harry? _

_Hermione got up and walked over to where the Weasley's were standing. Molly gave Hermione a bone-crunching hug and cried on her shoulder for a minute over her son, Fred. She was very patient with Molly the whole time. When Mrs. Weasley finally let go of Hermione, Ginny spoke up, "I think it's time Hermione and I went home and started packing so we can move into the apartment tomorrow." It surprised everyone that Ginny wanted to go so early and move out of the Burrow so quickly but Hermione agreed. _

_By that night, the two women were packed and eager to move into their new home together in London. They were both about to go to bed for the last time living at the Burrow and they were in relatively good spirits. But right before Ginny turned out the lights, Hermione could swear she saw a hint of sadness in her face. That night Hermione wondered what Ginny was thinking about._

_The next day they moved in and felt immediately at home and at peace. During the first two months, Hermione realized her true feelings for her best friend. It was a feeling she had never felt before. This was no crush like what she had with Victor Krum, and it wasn't infatuation like what she had with Ron. This was true love and she felt it. It scared Hermione and thrilled her to be feeling this way for another woman. At the slightest touch from Ginny, Hermione would feel an electric heat flow through her body and she just wanted to hold her and never let go. Every night Hermione would dream about kissing Ginny. Some days Hermione would catch Ginny looking at her as if she felt the same way. They got into the habit of "accidentally" bumping into each other just for some physical contact._

_One night, after only two months of living together, Hermione was reading a book about goblin banking and Ginny was listening to a quidditch game on the wireless while playing with a quaffle. Every once in a while Hermione would hear Ginny cheer as a goal was scored and when looked over at her, Ginny's hair was a dark red and it was tucked behind her ear. Her deep brown eyes shone with excitement as she listened to her team scoring goal after goal. Hermione fell into a light slumber and dreamt once more about hold Ginny in a tight embrace and kissing her deeply and passionately. _

_When Hermione awoke, Ginny was now sitting up and staring intently at the wireless as the seeker of the Holyhead Harpies approached the snitch. Hermione got up and started to prepare their dinner. Right in the middle of cooking a honey baked ham, Hermione heard Ginny cheering as loud as ever and jumping up and down. The Harpies had won the match. Hermione Granger was smiling to herself and thought about how cute she thought Ginny was when she was so excited. Out of nowhere, Ginny Weasley ran into the tiny kitchen, turned Hermione around, and kissed her hard on the lips. Hermione's eyes opened wide with shock as she felt Ginny's lips on her own just as she had in her dreams. When they broke apart, they were both breathless and neither one of them were smiling. _

"_What the hell was that?" cried Hermione who was more in shock than anything. Her heart was hammering in her chest. Ginny looked crestfallen at her reaction. "I-I…I don't know," she said in rushed words and ran to the bathroom and closed the door. "Ginny wait!" Hermione ran up to the bathroom door and knocked softly. "Ginny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Please come out so we can talk about this." Hermione couldn't believe she had reacted like that to something she had wanted so badly. _

"_Just go away Hermione, okay?" Hermione could tell that Ginny was crying and she felt horrible for causing this. She took a deep breath and said in a firm tone, "No." Hermione assumed that shock had caused Ginny to finally open the door. People rarely hear Hermione Granger talk like that to anyone. Before Ginny could say anything, Hermione planted a gentle kiss on her lips. Ginny wobbled slightly as if the kiss could have knocked her over if it had gone on any longer. They kissed again with more passion than either of them could ever have gotten with a man. Once again, when they broke apart they were both breathless. Hermione and Ginny stood against the wall and nuzzled each other. A few powerful minutes passed without either of them saying a word. They were both caught in a moment they had both dreamed of for months. Hermione ran her fingers through Ginny's perfect hair and Ginny leaned into Hermione's gentle, loving touch. _

"_Hermione I need to tell you something…" Ginny began and if her eyes had been open, she would have been able to see Hermione's heart sink at that moment. Words were the worst things. They tended to ruin special moments like this one. At that moment, Hermione resented all words known to man. Hermione pulled Ginny into a hug and they just held each other for a few seconds. Ginny continued, "I think…I think I'm falling in love with you." Even though Ginny couldn't see her, Hermione smiled and held the beautiful, redheaded witch tighter in her arms. _

"_I think I am too Ginny."_


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Hello everyone! This chapter is another flashback and it was very difficult to write. Since I've had my fair share of forbidden relationships, I wanted to use some of my own experiences in the flashback. So I was focused on getting all the emotions just right. This is probably one of the most important and powerful chapters of the story but I'm still not sure where this will take me so…yeah. Thank you so much to all those who added and/or reviewed this story! It is a huge confidence boost :)

Chapter 4

The next morning as the first rays of the waking sun shone through the slightly dusty windows of the Leaky Cauldron, Harry Potter opened the door and stepped in. About five minutes earlier, the two foreign men in black robes came down from the room they were staying in. Harry was meeting with them because there was a serial killer from Croatia that had escaped from prison and was reportedly hiding out somewhere in Great Britain.

As they were waiting for Harry to arrive for their meeting, the two men noticed the woman they were talking to the night before passed out at the bar. Neither of them noticed when Harry came into the pub, letting in a wave of crisp, morning air before he shut the door. He strode over to the two men and stood behind them. But before he was able to clear his throat to announce his arrival, one of the men spoke to the bartender.

The bartender filling in for Tom was very young. He looked as if he was just out of Hogwarts. He was cleaning a pint glass when one of the foreign men asked him who the woman was who was passed out at the bar. The kid looked over at the woman, shrugged, and continued to clean the glass. Neither men liked the young bartender's attitude and one asked why he had not bothered to see that she got home or to at least let her stay in one of the rooms.

"Hey! Look mister…" began the young bartender when Harry finally cleared his throat. All three of them just noticed Harry standing there. Harry gave the bartender a stern look and put his hood down so all of them could see his face. When the kid saw Harry's scar, his eyes widened and asked if he wanted anything to eat or drink. Harry interrupted his rambling about the breakfast specials, "Who's the girl?" The bartender swallowed but didn't say anything.

Harry quickly got frustrated and moved to the woman's side, gently shaking her. The woman mumbled something unintelligible and turned her head so that half of her face was revealed. Harry's eyes widened and he gasped, "Hermione?" He couldn't believe his eyes. As far as he knew, Hermione didn't drink that much. And he sure as hell had never seen her in this kind of state before in the nineteen years they had known each other. Hermione's face was flushed with intoxication and her mind was far away in a world of unconsciousness.

Harry's frustration had turned to fury in that moment and he turned on the young, unsuspecting bartender. "Why didn't you make sure she was able to get home? Why didn't you cut her off?" With one quick movement, Harry was behind the bar and he was so close to the bartender that their noses almost touched.

The kid stammered and couldn't find any excuse good enough to give to the head of the aurors' branch of the Ministry. He was terribly frightened at this point. When Harry Potter was this angry and this close to someone, even the naïve bartender knew that was not good at all. After Voldemort's death, Harry had been given the title of "the most powerful wizard of all time." A title that Harry didn't exactly approve of but he lived up to it anyway. He was even starting to plan to run for the position of Minister of Magic. The public couldn't get enough of him after he announced it.

Harry had one hand pinning the bartender to the wall, and the other holding his wand at the ready. As soon as the kid started to whimper, Harry let him go (and not too gently either). Harry waved his wand and his famous stag patronus appeared in the middle of the pub. Within seconds, the stag galloped out of the Leaky Cauldron and disappeared. Going back around the bar to stand Hermione up, Harry sincerely apologized to the two foreign men for the inconvenience. One of the men waved a hand signaling that it was no trouble for them at all. Harry promised them that they would be able to start business in a few minutes. At that moment the front door banged open and Ron came rushing in to Hermione.

"Hermione! What the bloody hell happened Harry?" Ron took Hermione from Harry and put her arm around his shoulders and his around her waist to keep her from falling. She was barely conscious and was barely able to gain any balance even with Ron supporting her. "I don't know mate. I only got here a few minutes ago and she was passed out on the bar." Ron looked shocked at his wife's behavior. He thanked Harry and summoned the bags of Christmas presents that were still on the stool beside her. Instead of trying to drag Hermione outside to apparate, Ron just apparated from inside the pub after Harry assured him (with a cold glance in the bartender's direction) that it was okay given the circumstance. Ron thanked Harry once again and disapparated.

They were soon in their own front yard and out of the front door, none other than Ginny Potter came rushing out to help Ron carry her inside. Ron had asked her to come and watch Rose and Hugo while their mother was indisposed. They got inside and laid her down gingerly on the sofa in the living room. Fortunately neither Rose nor Hugo was awake yet to see their mother in such a state. Ron knelt down beside his unconscious wife and held her hand in his own. Ginny took the bag of Christmas presents from Ron and put them where the kids wouldn't find them and she flung herself on the armchair across from the sofa. With a hand over her mouth, Ginny looked upon Hermione and knew deep in her heart that her best friend was in serious trouble now. And she had a feeling that it would turn out to be her own fault. She was able to blink away the tears as she continued to look upon the woman she had loved once…a very long time ago.

Hermione was sweating and twitching in her alcohol induced sleep. She was flying again, but this time she was flying over the bustling city of London:

_Ginny pulled away from Hermione's kiss. They had moved to the sofa and had been expressing their passion for each other for the past hour. "Wait Hermione…we should probably talk about this." Hermione nodded, "Okay." _

_As much as Ginny loved Hermione but now she looked uneasy, "I don't think we should tell anyone about us just yet. I doubt anyone would understand." Hermione's heart sank at these words, "Ginny, times have changed. People are much more accepting-"_

"_The wizarding world is different Hermione. I have never heard of two witches being together. Have you?" Hermione didn't want to admit it but Ginny was right. She hadn't heard of any homosexual couples in the wizarding world. "But that doesn't mean that there aren't any," retorted Hermione. This conversation was making her feel insignificant. Was Ginny ashamed of her? If Ginny was in love with her like she said, would it even matter? Should it matter? This was all new and confusing to Hermione and no doubt for Ginny as well. Ginny was afraid and Hermione knew it. She was afraid of exile from her family and friends. But were her actions relevant to her fears, or was Ginny being selfish? _

_But still, Hermione understood where Ginny was coming from. Hermione wanted to test the waters before announcing her undying love for Ginny Weasley. So when Ginny gave her a slightly pleading look, Hermione agreed to keep it a secret for a little while. At that, Ginny gave Hermione a dazzling smile and leaned in for a kiss. Hermione kissed her back and once again they were wrapped in a loving embrace. _

_After a few minutes, Ginny broke the kiss and rested her head against Hermione's, "I love you so much Hermione. You make me happier than I have ever felt before." Tears threatened to fall from Hermione's eyes as she thought about how lucky she was. She pulled Ginny into a tight hug and when Hermione smiled, a tear of joy fell down her cheek. "I love you too, Ginny." _

_Even though it killed Hermione to do it, she insisted that she and Ginny waited to have sex. This was all new and happening so fast that Hermione wanted to make sure it wasn't just a physical relationship even though they both knew better than that. As much as this disappointed Ginny, she knew Hermione was right so she agreed. They did, however, share a bedroom and a bed from that day on. This made the sexual tension even worse for the two women, but they couldn't bear to spend another night away from each other. Whenever they spent a night at the Burrow, the two love struck witches would spend the night in Ginny's old bedroom. As far as Harry and the Weasley's knew, they were just two best friends who had always slept in Ginny's room whenever Hermione would visit in years past. _

_It wasn't until about six months after Hermione and Ginny confessed their love for each other that some of the more observant people started to suspect something was going on between the two. Luna Lovegood was probably the first one to see it. She and Neville Longbottom had decided to throw a Christmas party for all their old friends from Hogwarts (especially those from the DA meetings). _

_Luna had noticed that Hermione and Ginny had been inseparable ever since they walked through the door. On occasions, Luna would notice Ginny putting one of her hands on Hermione's legs or putting an arm around her shoulders. It was a friendly gesture to anyone who saw them…except for Luna. Being exceptionally odd did have its rewards after all. As if the touching wasn't enough, Luna caught Ginny sparing a few glares in Ron's direction and Hermione glaring at Harry, Dean Thomas, and Michael Corner. _

_Luna Lovegood smirked as she secretly watched Hermione and Ginny whisper in each others' ear and giggle together. They were sitting so close that they were almost touching. At that moment, Neville walked over and stood beside Luna. "What a great turnout, eh? I didn't expect so many to actually show up. Luna, what are you…" he looked in the same direction as Luna and saw Hermione and Ginny talking amongst each other. "Well they sure have gotten close since the war, haven't they?" Neville chuckled. His heart was light from the glass of firewhiskey he had. "Quite," said Luna, in deep thought, "Neville, do you notice anything different about those two?" She nodded in the direction of the two giggling witches._

_Neville looked at them more closely and studied them. "Yes, I do." Neville said in all seriousness. He turned to look Luna in the eyes. "They're happy." Luna gave Neville a small smile, "Yes they are, but that wasn't exactly what I was referring to. Although I have no doubt that it has quite a bit to do with how happy they seem to be."_

_Neville looked at the two again. He spent a few minutes studying every movement they made, trying to figure out what Luna was getting at. He saw Ginny nudge Hermione with bit more affection than was necessary. Then it clicked. The thought popped into Neville's head but he couldn't believe it. Looking at Luna, Neville's eyes were wide with disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it. _

_Luna read Neville's expression and new exactly what he was thinking. She nodded, "Yes, I think so Neville. They're in love." Neville searched his brain for anything appropriate to say, but all he could say was "Wow." Luna was smirking again, "What do you think of it?"_

"_I…I'm…I mean…I'm…shocked." Neville still couldn't find the right words. "I think it's fantastic. I'm happy for them." Luna's smirk turned into a full smile as she looked at the happy couple on the couch. "If they have found true love, who cares who it's with right?"_

_Neville smiled at Luna's words, "Right. I'm happy for them too. Do you think we should tell them we know? I think they could use some support. What do you think?"_

_Luna nodded, "I think you're right. I'm sure they're scared to tell someone. This usually doesn't happen with wizarding couples…" At that moment, Hermione noticed that Neville and Luna staring at them. She gave Neville a questioning look and he blushed and looked away. Hermione brought this to Ginny's attention and they got up and walked over to them._

"_What's up guys?" asked Ginny as they approached Neville and Luna. Ginny looked intrigued, but she also looked a tad defensive. Luna didn't say a word but she was beaming at the two witches. Then Hermione spoke up. "You know, don't you?" she said in a low voice. Neville looked guilty and nodded without meeting Hermione's eyes. "We're very happy for the two of you." Luna nudged Neville and they both smiled reassuringly at the two shocked witches in front of them. _

_Hermione and Ginny both felt as if two small weights were lifted off of their chests. Hermione smiled warmly at Ginny and she smiled back. Then all four of them began to laugh. When they finally stopped laughing, Ginny took on a more serious note, "Please don't tell anyone else." Neville noticed Hermione give Ginny a rather odd look that Ginny never saw. It was almost a wounded look, but before Neville could figure out any more, the look was gone. _

_The party finally died down and Hermione and Ginny were about to go home. They were saying goodbye to Neville and Luna and Neville did something he had never done before. He gave Hermione a big hug and whispered in her ear so that Ginny couldn't hear. "Luna and I are here if you ever want to talk Hermione." At those words, Hermione's face softened and she hugged Neville back. Ginny, who had taken Neville's embrace and secret words to her girlfriend to mean something completely different, had given Neville a hard look when he wasn't looking. _

_Together Hermione and Ginny aparated to their apartment and Ginny asked Hermione what Neville had told her. Ginny, not wanting to sound hurt or suspicious, might as well have been asking about the weather. Hermione saw right through her girlfriend's nonchalant tone of the question, but she wasn't angry. She wanted to tell Ginny because she didn't want her to think that Hermione didn't trust her. But at the same time, Neville had seen something in Hermione's eyes that Ginny hadn't bothered to see. "Oh, that was nothing. He was just saying that he missed us and he wanted us to keep in touch. That's all." _

_Ginny didn't believe that was really what he said, but she let it go for now, not wanting to argue with the woman she loved. If Neville really had said that he missed both of them, why didn't he just say that to both of them instead of just Hermione? Ginny didn't want Hermione to see the doubt behind her eyes so she turned around, pretending to get a snack and said, "I love you with all my heart and soul, Hermione." Ginny turned around to expect a guilty look from Hermione, but instead she saw the most heart warming smile that she had ever seen. How could she not smile back? "I love you too, Ginny. You are my everything." _

_Ginny couldn't take any more. She rushed across the room and pulled Hermione into the most passionate kiss they had ever shared. They were both breathless when they broke apart and their faces were flushed with the passion of the kiss. They stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like days. They were just basking in each other's love. At last Hermione broke the intense silence and muttered something about a shower and left Ginny alone. While they were kissing, Ginny felt all her walls come crashing down. She forgot what it was like not to have walls surrounding her. Her legs felt weak so she sat down, staring into space and reliving that kiss. The sound of water running in the bathroom broke Ginny out of her trance and she moved fast out of her chair. Ginny's heart was pounding in her chest as she burst through the bathroom door. This startled Hermione and she looked around the shower curtains and at her girlfriend who had apparently gone crazy. "Ginny! What the-" but before she could finish, Ginny had taken her face in her hands and kissed her hard. _

_Ginny didn't even bother to take her clothes off. She just stepped into the shower and wrapped her arms tightly around Hermione's body. After Hermione got over her initial shock, she kissed Ginny back just as hard and fumbled with Ginny's shirt. With a surge of sexual power, Hermione took off Ginny's clothes and shoved her against the wall of the shower and was kissing her neck. Hermione's force shocked the both of them but they ignored it and just kept groping at each other. Neither one of them could get enough of the other. Ginny tangled her fingers in Hermione's hair as she was overwhelmed by a kind of pleasure she had never known. As they kissed, Ginny nipped at Hermione's lower lip and it made Hermione moan. They kept going so that even after they ran out of hot water the mirror and window in the bathroom were both steamy with the heat emanating from the couple's bodies. Eventually the cold water was too much for them and they got out of the shower and Hermione led Ginny by the hand to their bedroom. They both fell on their bed at the same time and continued to kiss and they never let go. Ginny moaned Hermione's name and bucked her hips when she felt Hermione's fingers (and tongue) exploring her core. Much sooner than Ginny had expected, she had reached her climax. She had press a pillow over her face to muffle the scream that came from her swollen lips. _

_Soon, the positions were switched and it was Ginny's tongue exploring Hermione's body. Beads of sweat were pouring from Hermione's body. Hermione had never had sex before so when she felt Ginny's fingers enter her body, she cried out with a mixture of pain and pleasure. She ran her nails down Ginny's back which made Ginny shudder and she went faster until Hermione reached her own climax. _

_Neither one of them knew how long they had been at it, but when they had both flopped on their bed, panting and sweating, the sun was up. They both lay on their backs and were looking at the ceiling, and they were holding hands. "Wow…" panted Ginny. Her eyes were closed as she remembered everything from the past few hours. Hermione nodded, not knowing any other words to describe it. "That was just…wow…" Ginny's attempt at finding a word that would do that night any justice had failed and they both laughed. Hermione kissed Ginny on the cheek and cuddled next to her. Ginny kissed her on the top of the head and held her tightly. "Who would've thought that out of the two of us, you would be the one on top…" said Ginny, giving Hermione a loving squeeze as they both laughed heartily. _

"_I'm glad we waited," said Hermione. She looked at Ginny, "All that sexual tension we had built made this night perfect." Ginny smiled and kissed Hermione softly on the lips. "I love you." Ginny whispered tenderly in Hermione's ear. Hermione closed her eyes and smiled warmly, "I love you too." Then they both fell asleep in each other's arms…both women were smiling._

_A year and a half passed and Hermione and Ginny were still very much in love as they had been two years ago. Dean Thomas knew about Hermione and Ginny's relationship in addition to Neville and Luna, but there was plenty of whispering among their other friends and family. Mrs. Weasley would continue to nag her daughter about finding a boyfriend (particularly Harry since he was soon keen on getting Ginny back) and occasionally she would question Ginny about her friendship with Hermione. Ginny continued to insist that nothing was going on between Hermione and herself. Hermione was getting anxious about lying to Ginny's parents but she didn't want to argue with her girlfriend so she bottled up her feelings. The last thing she wanted was for Ginny to feel pressured, but Hermione was feeling insignificant because no one but Neville, Luna, and Dean knew about them. She was starting to feel caged by the secret and just wanted to let the world know. Sometimes Hermione would imagine herself telling the Weasleys herself since Ginny was so unwilling to do it. Even if Hermione had the courage to do so, she was too afraid that Ginny would leave her if her parents insisted it. Sometimes Hermione would think about it so much that she would get lightheaded and have to stop. _

_One night Ginny had told Hermione that she had good news. When Hermione asked her what it was, Ginny refused. Right before dinner, there was a knock on the door. Ginny jumped up and skipped to the door to let in none other than Dean Thomas. Hermione was feeling confused and a bit cornered since she wasn't crazy about Dean. Dean was and ex boyfriend of Ginny's and therefore it made Hermione feel uncomfortable to be around him. Dean understood completely what Hermione was feeling and he would constantly assure her that he had no intentions of getting back together with Ginny. _

"_What's going on?" asked Hermione, cautiously. "C'mon, love. Let's talk about the news." Said Ginny and she took Hermione by the hand and dragged her into the living room. Hermione felt herself starting to tremble. She didn't have a good feeling about this. As much as Hermione loved Ginny, she was quite self centered so any news Ginny considered to be good may not be particularly good for Hermione. She gathered herself and sat down next to Ginny, who held her hand. _

"_Okay. So Dean and I have been talking and we think we've come up with a way for my parents (particularly my mum) to stop nagging me about our relationship." A very small glimmer of hope appeared in Hermione's heart. Was Ginny finally going to tell her parents about their love? Ginny didn't even wait for Hermione to respond, "I'm going to tell my family that Dean and I are dating again." Ginny smiled at Hermione, waiting for her to praise her and Dean for their idea. But when the praise didn't come, Ginny tried to explain everything so Hermione could understand. _

"_Well you know how my parents have been pressuring me to find a boyfriend right? Well, we thought that maybe if I brought Dean to a couple of family dinners and told everyone that we're dating again that they wouldn't suspect anything anymore." There was dead silence. Hermione was staring into space and wouldn't acknowledge anyone or anything. Ginny and Dean exchanged a worried glance._

"_We wouldn't really be dating or anything, Hermione," chimed in Dean hurriedly. When Hermione still didn't move or speak, Ginny spoke again. "Wha-What do you think, Hermione? I think it was pretty smart of us to think of it…" _

_It all came crashing down around Hermione with every word Ginny and Dean spoke. There were mental explosions all around her and she felt like she was going to be sick. The fury was building up in her so quickly that soon her face was turning red and she was turning red. A lump had formed and she looked away from Ginny and Dean's faces, out the window at the twilit sky. _

"_Thought it was 'smart' did you?" Hermione finally spoke. She tried to sound angry or cold but her voice wavered with the very likely threat of tears. Hermione hated getting so furious in front of people. She didn't yell and kick and scream like most people did, she cried. Not even Ginny completely understood this, because usually Hermione was so good at hiding her anger and bottling it up. But now all those feelings that Hermione had bottled up were about to explode in a flood of tears that were not tears of sadness. Her whole body was shaking and her hands were balled up in fists so tight that her knuckles were white and her nails were digging into her palms. Tears were welling in her eyes and she tried to blink them away but couldn't._

_Ginny and Dean looked at each other in disbelief. Neither of them had expected this reaction at all and it was worrying them, especially Ginny. She placed a loving hand on Hermione's shoulder, "Yes, love. We thought it was a smart idea. This way my parents won't find out about us and they will leave us alone. Do you seriously want my family to know about us? Because if they find out, they will try to break us apart, Hermione! You know that!" Ginny was practically shouting the last part, but Hermione didn't hear a word of it. As soon as Hermione felt Ginny's hand on her shoulder, she pushed her hand off and stormed off to their bedroom. _

_She slammed the door as hard as she could and locked it. Hermione let out an angry sob and paced the room furiously. She felt helpless. She went over to her and Ginny's owl, who was sitting in his cage, staring curiously at Hermione's odd behavior, and wrote a hurried letter to Neville. The letter was asking if she could come over to Hogwarts (he had a full time job as the herbology professor). Hermione tied the letter to the owl's leg and opened the window so he could fly to Hogwarts as fast as possible. _

_Everything was turning red and a loud banging on the door was heard in the background noise of Hermione's anger. She continued to pace the room angrily and when the banging wouldn't stop and Ginny continued to talk through the door, Hermione pulled on her hair. A scream was building in her lungs so to keep the scream from escaping, Hermione rushed over and proceeded to punch the wall beside the door. After that, all noise stopped. Ginny was no longer pounding on the door nor trying to further explain her "brilliant" plan through the door. The sound of Hermione's fist making impact with the wall must have frightened her into silence. _

"_You're always thinking about yourself, love," whispered Hermione to the closed door. She was positive that Ginny didn't hear her but as she continued to talk, her voice grew louder. "Never kept anything from Mummy and Daddy have you, Gin? You tell them _everything_ except of course 'the best thing that ever happened to me' because _Mummy_ wouldn't _approve_!" Hermione was practically shouting now, and with every other word that she spoke, Hermione would punch the wall. "I gave my HEART to you, and you're squeezing it pretty FUCKING tight, Ginerva Weasley! I LOVE YOU GINNY! I would DIE for you, Ginny, but I guess YOU wouldn't do the same for ME would you? You don't even KNOW what they're reactions will be! Sometimes I think you do it on purpose! LIE to them so they find out in the WORST way POSSIBLE so they would 'FORCE' you to break it off with me! FUCK THAT! AND FUCK YOU!"_

_Hermione flopped on the end of the bed and sobbed in her hands. Her right hand was oozing blood all over the floor. The wall had a significant dent and was almost dripping with her blood. Hermione was startled out of her fit of sobbing by her owl nipping gently at her finger. The owl tilted his head at her, almost in concern. Hermione smiled grimly at the bird and stroked his feathers a few times before taking the letter that was tied around his leg. _

_Neville had sensed the urgency in Hermione's letter and had invited her to come to Hogwarts as soon as she was willing. Hermione was willing ten minutes ago, so she wiped away her tears and stood up to her full height. When the door opened, Dean and Ginny jumped to their feet and faced Hermione. Dean had his wand out and Ginny's eyes were brimming with tears. Even under the current circumstance, Hermione wanted to hold her and tell everything was going to be alright. But Hermione needed to get away. This was the first time Hermione had taken Neville up on his offer and she was thankful to have such a good friend who knew everything and was still on her side. _

_Hermione sniffed and wiped away fresh tears, "I'm going to Hogwarts," she said in a low, slightly menacing voice, "I don't know when I'll be back." Ginny was too upset to speak but Hermione saw the questioning look in her tearful eyes. "I'm going to see Neville." Ginny's let out a small sob and she narrowed her eyes but behind them was severe emotional pain. It was at that moment that Hermione saw for the first time that Ginny was jealous of Neville. As much as she wanted to comfort her and reassure her that they were only friends, Hermione couldn't. She had to think of herself for once. She tried to at least give Ginny a reassuring look, but she felt fresh tears threaten to surface so she turned and left the apartment. _

_Hermione aparated right outside of Hogwarts' grounds and she strode to the front gate where Neville awaited her. He unlocked the gates and let her in. As soon as she was inside the gates and looking once upon her old home, Neville gave her a hug. "I'm sorry for whatever you're going through, Hermione." _

_She gave Neville a tearful smile and they walked around the school grounds in the dark. Neville didn't push Hermione to tell him what happened and she was grateful for that. When she felt stable enough to tell the story without breaking into tears, she told him the whole thing from the very beginning when Hermione and Ginny first fell in love. Hermione knew in her heart of hearts that she could never leave Ginny, even after all that happened. But she needed Ginny to understand how she was feeling. If she was a little less self centered and a little more observant of others than maybe Ginny could've spotted this coming from a mile away. _

"_I wouldn't dwell on all the 'what if's' Hermione. What's done is done. Ginny is who she is and I doubt you can change that. Plus, you fell in love with Ginny…all of her. Not just the parts that you found attractive. If you have been living with her for two years, it must not be that terrible." Neville was always closer to Hermione when they were in school, but he was making a point to be a neutral party in this whole situation. "I saw you're face at the Christmas party when Ginny asked us not to tell anyone, Hermione. I saw this coming. In fact I'm surprised that it took so long for it to happen. You are a strong woman. You don't realize it do you? I bet you anything that Ginny does." Neville smiled at Hermione and she realized that he was right. _

_They had been walking for almost two hours when they were once again in front of the main gate. "I think I should go home," said Hermione giving Neville a small smile. Neville returned her smile, "I think you should too." Hermione gave Neville a hug and said, "Thank you so much Neville." Neville gave Hermione one last warm smile, "Go," he said as he opened the gates for her. _

_Hermione walked into her apartment to find a small amount of destruction that was not there when she left. "Ginny?" she called in the dim apartment. She saw a light coming from the bottom of the bedroom door and walked to it. When she opened the door, Hermione found Ginny sitting on the bed, wiping tears from her eyes as she cleaned up the blood on the floor and the wall with a wave of her wand. A packed bag lay beside her on the bed._

_Hermione's heart stopped and her stomach dropped like a brick. "What the hell is going on Ginny?" Ginny tried to keep her emotions under control but to no avail. Her voice was thick with tears. "I think I need to leave, Hermione." Tears flooded from Hermione's eyes once again. "No," she whispered. She stumbled back against the wall. Her breathing had turned ragged and uneven._

_Ginny bit her lip, "I can't keep hurting you. I realize now that that is all I've done these past two years. I love you so much, but I can't watch you suffer like this anymore…not because of me. I have to leave, Hermione before you suffer any more." Ginny started to sob quietly._

_Hermione was shaking her head franticly, "No, Ginny I can't live without you. You are my life…my everything." Hermione pleaded with Ginny, but she wouldn't budge. Hermione sank to her knees, sobbing, "Don't…leave me alone in this world. Please." Ginny walked over to Hermione and tilted her head up to face her, "I will _never_ leave you alone in this world, Hermione. I will always be there for you…as a friend." Hermione broke into fresh sobs and curled up on the floor. _

_Hermione could actually feel her heart shattering in her chest. Each individual piece stabbed her from the inside out. If she had looked up at that moment, Hermione would've seen Ginny's heart shatter at the same time. Ginny took a deep breath and tried to gather her wits. She grabbed her bag and rushed towards the door. "I'll be staying at the Burrow 'til I can find my own place." And just like that…Ginny was gone. Ginny left the apartment and ran away as fast as she could. She was sobbing as she ran. It was better this way. She kept telling herself that as she ran down the street to find a deserted spot to disaparate from. _

_After Hermione heard the front door shut, she got up and grabbed a picture of her and Ginny. They both looked so happy and in love in the picture. With one sudden movement, she threw the picture, frame and all, at the mirror in front of her and it shattered just like her heart. Hermione slowly walked over to the mirror shards on the floor. She picked one up and sat on the bed. The woman staring back at her from the mirror was not Hermione Granger. It was a sobbing woman with a haunted soul. _

_At exactly that moment, though Hermione didn't know it, depression snuck up behind her and dug its black claws into her mind. At exactly that moment, a strange urge came over Hermione. She calmly took off her shirt and pressed the edge of the sharp mirror shard against her skin. A deep line was cut that night right over the spot where her heart used to beat for Ginny Weasley. _


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Hey guys! I was overall very pleased with the outcome of the previous chapter and very pleased with the reactions :) This will probably be the last flashback chapter of the story. It won't be nearly as long as the last chapter, but there will be some intensity so prepare yourself…and enjoy!

Chapter 5

By ten o'clock, the whole Weasley family, the Potter family, Neville, and Luna were gathered around Hermione. She still had yet to awake from her slumber and she had been moved from the couch. Ginny made her living as a part-time healer and St. Mungo's so she was constantly trying to push through the small crowd gathered around Hermione to check her condition. While working as an apprentice at St. Mungo's, Ginny would study all the books on magical and muggle maladies that the hospital had to offer. So every chance she got, Ginny would look for any symptoms that meant Hermione was in danger.

After an hour of chaos, Ginny was sitting in the armchair across from the couch once again with her head in her hands. She was getting impatient with her family and friends. Unconscious or not, the last thing Hermione needed was to be crowded by a large, loud family looking down on her. Not everyone was around her at once, but it was enough to prevent Ginny from helping and it frustrated her to no end.

Ginny lifted her head from her hands and looked towards the small crowd. In between Harry and Ron was a gap just big enough for Ginny to see one of Hermione's limp hands. She did a double take. Something wasn't right at all. Ginny's eyes widened as she noticed the blue tint to Hermione's skin. That did it for Ginny. She stood up and strode towards the couch. When she got there, Ginny grabbed Harry and Ron with each hand and shoved them back with a force that surprised everyone. Harry stumbled back and looked at his wife with disbelief. Ron, who was shoved much harder than Harry, had fallen on his back.

Ginny didn't stop to look at anyone besides Hermione. She kneeled down in the exact spot that Ron had been kneeling just a moment before. Taking Hermione's hand, Ginny examined her bluish complexion and tried to wake her. No amount of shaking or slapping could wake her. Dead silence fell upon the room. Ginny noticed then how shallow Hermione's breathing had become. Unfortunately, Hermione was wearing a tight shirt and Ginny knew she had to get it off to possibly ease her breathing. But she wasn't going to be able to help Hermione if everyone was jumping down her throat at every second. Everyone began talking again and it got too loud in that house.

"Everyone GET OUT!" shouted Ginny over every other voice in the house. Ron stepped between Ginny and Hermione, crossing his arms over his chest and gave her a hard look. "Who the bloody hell are you to kick me out of my own house?" It was a very bad move on Ron's part to even step between the two women, but to deny his wife the proper help she needed pushed Ginny over the edge. She ground her teeth and turned around to face everyone else. "Go," she said firmly, "You can all go to our house. I don't care…just go."

"This is my house, Ginny. You have no right to kick anyone out!" came Ron's voice from behind her. Time was running out and Ginny needed to tend to Hermione immediately. Ginny spun around on the spot and while she was spinning, her fist connected with Ron's left eye. Ron yelped in pain from the punch and Molly rushed to his side. One more look from Ginny and everyone filed out of the front door. Even Molly left while dragging her black and blue son behind her.

As soon as the door shut, Ginny immediately put locking spells on all the doors. Ginny then returned to kneel beside Hermione. Quickly but carefully, Ginny took off Hermione's shirt, making a point to move her as little as possible. When her shirt was off, Hermione's breathing slowly went back to normal. But her skin was still slightly blue. Ginny was casting a few spells to help Hermione, but after a while, the only thing she could do was wait…for better or for worse.

As Ginny sat beside Hermione, she noticed a long, pink scar on Hermione's chest. She traced a finger along the scar and wondered what happened and how long she carried this. It was definitely after Ginny left because she would have noticed a scar this large. Ginny furrowed her brow and thought. If there was an accident, she surely would have heard about it from Harry or Ron. She made a mental note to ask Ron about it later.

As Ginny sat and watched, tears flowed from Hermione's closed eyes. She was crying in her sleep. Ginny took Hermione's hand in her own and she didn't let go…

_Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes and watched the blood ooze from her chest and felt it flow down her body. It was a deep cut and there was a lot of blood, but Hermione didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. She wanted to die right then and there, but Hermione knew better. There was blood all over her hands and torso. Her bra was stained crimson and the waistband of her jeans was darkening. _

_Soon the blood was everywhere and Hermione finally washed it off in the shower. As for the blood stained clothes and the mirror shard, Hermione stored those in a suitcase she kept in her closet. Even the sheets of the bed had splotches of blood on them so Hermione stored those away too. _

_The hot water stung the cut, but Hermione washed away all the blood without so much as a wince. She stayed in the shower even after the water turned cold. Hermione felt numb to everything. This was something Hermione had never experienced because she was never in love with anyone until Ginny. Just thinking about her name made Hermione break into fresh tears. _

_When she came back into her room and had stored away the clothes, sheets, and mirror shard, Hermione collapsed on the bed. She didn't even care that the bed didn't have any sheets. Within minutes, Hermione was curled up in a ball and was fast asleep. For weeks, Hermione had done nothing but sleep and cry. She barely ate at all and she didn't shower. _

_A month after Ginny had left, Hermione got a jubilant letter from Molly Weasley, inviting her to dinner for an exciting announcement. Hermione did not want to go to dinner at all, but Mrs. Weasley had done quite a bit for her over the years. So Hermione gave a short response agreeing to come. She decided to make up an excuse so she could leave early. In her responding letter, Hermione stated that she couldn't stay very long because she had to work. No one knew that Hermione had taken a leave of absence at her job at the Ministry. As far as Hermione was concerned, no one needed to know. _

_When the day of the dinner arrived, Hermione took a shower (her cut still wasn't completely healed) and put on the mask of a busy woman who had indeed gotten out of bed in the past month. She even tried to practice a smile, but no matter how hard she tried, it always looked forced. _

_When Hermione knocked on the door to the Burrow, Ron answered the door. Without thinking, Hermione flung her arms around him and embraced him tightly. Ron was shocked and hugged her back even tighter. He was in a noticeably cheery mood for the rest of the evening. It felt good to Hermione to have someone hold her like that again. She stayed close to him for the rest of the time that she was there. _

_When Hermione stepped into the Weasley's kitchen, she found herself locked in a bone crushing hug from Molly. Hermione gladly hugged her back even though it stung the cut on her chest slightly. When Molly finally let go she looked at everyone else at the table. She was the last one to arrive but Hermione didn't mind in the least. At the head of the table sat Harry and on his right was Ginny. _

_Ginny would look over at Hermione every chance she got until finally she got up and came towards her. Hermione wouldn't look at her at all. When Ginny pulled her into a tight hug, Hermione just stood there. She could literally feel her face heating with the threat of tears so she quickly pulled away. "Can I help you with anything, Mrs. Weasley?" Hermione moved away from Ginny as quickly as possible, ignoring the hurt look on Ginny's face._

_For most of the evening, Hermione was either helping to prepare the dinner with Molly or helping her with the dishes. Occasionally Ron would join them and he would manage to get a smile out of Hermione sometimes. She was doing dishes when George stood with a glass of firewhiskey, "A toast to the happy couple! It's about bloody time you two got married. You treat my sister right Potter!" _

_Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Ginny and Harry share a kiss on the lips. Seeing them kiss made Hermione suddenly feel lightheaded. She could feel herself hyperventilating and she was about to run outside for some fresh air when Ron cut her off. He was talking to her but Hermione couldn't hear a word he or anyone else was saying. All she could hear was her heart pounding in her ears. _

_Ron noticed something was wrong and seemed to be asking her something when Hermione collapsed on the spot. She was unconscious before she even hit the floor. A dish that she was carrying shattered underneath her and she smacked her head hard on the floor by Ron's feet. Ginny leaped from her seat and tried to make her way over to Hermione but Ron was already there, tapping her gently on the cheek. _

_Hermione gasped and opened her eyes. She was still on the floor and she was looking at Ron's worried face. Her face was cold and clammy. She still felt lightheaded and her speech was slurring slightly, but that didn't stop her from getting up. She didn't want to be the center of attention like this so she muttered something about going to work and she ran out the door. _

_When Hermione got home, she ran to the bathroom. She was still a bit lightheaded but she knew she wouldn't collapse again. Hermione didn't know that she was crying until she looked in the mirror. Not knowing why, Hermione pulled at her hair and screamed. A small clump of long, wavy hair came out in her hand. Her hair had indeed gotten long in the past year or so. Ginny used to love to run her fingers through that hair. _

_In the spur of the moment, Hermione grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off a bit of her hair. It felt good to be free of the hair Ginny loved. Hermione made a quick decision and cut off almost all of her hair. Clumps of dark, wavy hair fell on the bathroom floor all around Hermione's feet. She looked in the mirror and saw that she was crying again and her hair was now extremely short. _

_Everyone was shocked at Hermione's display of freedom. It still didn't make her happy like she had hoped but she was able to wear a more believable smile now. Ginny was heartbroken when she saw this change. No one was aware that, after that, Ginny cried herself to sleep for weeks. Ron was the only one to show any kind of support for Hermione's rash decision to cut off her hair. She knew that Ron was just trying to get on her good side, but she didn't care. So when Ron eventually proposed to Hermione, she agreed to marry him even though in her heart, she was not in love with him._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When Hermione opened her eyes, she was in her bed and the sun's last rays were streaming through the window. She felt horribly nauseous and her head was pounding. The most recent memory she had was of her talking to the two foreign men at the Leaky Cauldron. Hermione rubbed her temples and groaned at the general pain she was feeling. Within seconds, Hermione was rushing into the bathroom in a desperate attempt to get to the toilet. Sharp pain flowed all her around her knees as she banged them when falling in front of the toilet. As soon as Hermione reached the toilet, the vomiting began. She couldn't recall ever being so sick in all her 30 years of life. An hour she spent vomiting or slumped against the bathtub. When she was done, Hermione washed up and looked at the pale sickly figure in the mirror. What had she done to herself?

After exiting the bathroom, Hermione gave a start when she saw the dim outline of Ginny Potter slumped in a chair in the opposite corner of the room. "Ginny! My god, you scared me half to death!" exclaimed Hermione, "What are you doing here?" Ginny didn't answer or even acknowledge that Hermione was there. She held a bundle cradled in her arms and she was staring at it.

"Ginny?" Hermione knew something was wrong and she wanted to find out what it was, but at the same time, she was feeling uncomfortable alone in a room with Ginny. She took a hesitant step towards Ginny. When she did, Ginny looked up and even in the dimness, Hermione could feel the daggers of ice being shot at her from Ginny's eyes.

"You almost killed yourself last night." Ginny hissed, "What the fuck were you thinking?" Hermione winced at the coldness in her ex lover's voice. "Wh-What?" she knew not to push Ginny when she was in this kind of mood.

"I said: _what the fuck were you thinking?_" Ginny's voice was loud and icy but she wasn't shouting. "You almost died of alcohol poisoning, Hermione! How much did you drink? _What_ did you drink? Did you even stop to think about Ron, or Rose, or Hugo….or me?" Silence fell in the room as Hermione tried to process what Ginny was saying.

For the first time in a long time, Hermione shed tears for someone other than Ginny. Each tear that trickled down her cheek was shed for everyone that Hermione had hurt in her selfishness. How could she do that to her husband and, more importantly, her children? Did they even know? Where were they? Hermione was brought back to reality by a small sniff coming from the corner that Ginny was sitting in.

"You almost died…because of me…" Ginny whispered and a muffled sob filled the silence of the room. This sound shocked Hermione. Ginny was always the strong one. The only times she'd seen her cry were when Fred died and when she left Hermione. A small ounce of warmth spread through Hermione's heart. She still cared.

The darkness had deepened and Hermione decided that she should at least try to comfort Ginny. So she went to turn on the light. Her wand was still on the bedside table and the movement helped Hermione gain some courage. But when she flipped the switch and light filled the room, her eyes widened with horror.

An opened suitcase lay on the floor next to Ginny's chair and in her arms was an old bed sheet covered in seven year old blood stains. Ginny clutched at the sheet as if it would fly away if she didn't hold it tight. She looked up at Hermione; her face streaked with tears and her chest heaving with sobs. Amidst all the tears coursing down her face and her ragged breathing, Ginny managed to choke out one word: "Why?"

Hermione fell back against the wall and clutched at the spot on her chest where the five-inch scar tainted her skin. She could almost feel it throbbing with pain again after seven years. Hermione wished that she was angry with Ginny for rooting through her personal items, but the discovery brought back too much pain and too many other emotions for it to seem worth it.

Ginny's eyes were full of pain and anguish, "I saw the scar, Hermione." Her failed before she finished speaking.

Hermione slid down the wall and sat on the floor. She put a trembling hand over mouth as she was haunted by her past. Her hand moved from her mouth to cover her eyes as Hermione sat trembling on the floor. A few seconds later, Hermione felt a warm hand remove her own from her eyes. Once she blinked away the tears in her eyes, Hermione saw Ginny kneeling before her.

Ginny rested her head against Hermione's just like they used to do once upon a time. Hermione closed her eyes and relished the feel of Ginny's skin touching hers again. "Promise me that you won't do anything like that ever again." Ginny said softly. Hermione didn't know if Ginny was talking about the drinking or the cutting but Hermione had the same answer for both. "I can't. I'm sorry." Ginny slowly shook her head and fresh tears spilled down her cheek, but she never took her eyes off of Hermione's.

Without thinking, the two witches reached for each other in a fierce embrace. Their lips had barely touched when they jumped apart. The sound of an explosion came from downstairs. Ginny and Hermione looked each other in the eyes for a split second before they both got up and moved rapidly.

Hermione ran and launched herself onto the bed and got under the covers. As soon as she settled in, she once again became aware of her headache and nausea. She didn't even attempt to hide her shock but she didn't have any fear now. All her fear left her when her lips brushed against Ginny's. Her wand lay hidden beside her.

Ginny whipped out her wand and gave Hermione one last fleeting look before storming out of the room and down the stairs. She didn't need to think twice about who it was. "RONALD WEASLEY WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" When she got downstairs, Ginny saw that the door had been blown to bits and her disgruntled brother stood before her. Ron's eyes were full of malice as he glared daggers into his little sister.

"I want to see her right now. You better move or you'll end up looking like my front door." Anyone could see that Ron meant business. "'Please' would've been nice." Said Ginny with a smirk.

"I'm not fucking kidding Ginny. I'm going to see my wife and you can't stop me." Ginny felt more than a bit of resentment towards Ron for saying that. It was partially because of the raging jealousy that she felt. Upon opening that suitcase full of Hermione's blood stained artifacts, old feelings had been aroused inside her once again with a burning passion. It was like the awakening of a sleeping giant. As relieved as Ginny felt when she was filled with these emotions, she knew they had to be subdued. Like it or not, Hermione was Ron's wife, not Ginny's. No matter how much she wanted to, she could not stop Ron from seeing his wife.

"Well she's sick. And I'm sure your arrival isn't making her feel any better!" cried Ginny, sounding eerily like her mother.

Ron didn't say anything. He just pushed past his sister and went up the stairs. Ginny made no attempt to stop him but she followed him and glared at the back of her brother's head. Ron stormed into the bedroom and knelt beside his pale wife and took her hand. Ginny just leaned on the door frame and supervised Ron's behavior.

After a while, Ginny couldn't stand to watch any more of the affection Hermione was getting from her husband and offered to go fix the door. "After you're done with that, don't bother to come back." Said Ron coldly. "Ron! Don't talk to her like that! She saved my life," exclaimed Hermione. She ignored the pain in her head that came with the exclamation.

"You know what, Ron?" said Ginny, gaining confidence from Hermione's words, "How about _you_ go fix the door that _you_ blew to pieces? I'll just make myself comfortable in here and make sure that Hermione gets better."

A shadow of a smile appeared in Hermione's eyes when she looked at Ginny. "You better do what she says, Ron." Hermione said, giving Ron a look that suggested that she was being entertained by the whole ordeal. Ron couldn't deny his wife while she looked so sick and helpless, so he reluctantly got up and left to go fix the door.

As soon a Ron left, Ginny and Hermione smiled at each other. Ginny rushed to Hermione's side, took her hand, and took on a more serious note. "I think we should talk about this," began Ginny, and when Hermione nodded in agreement, she continued. "But not until after the holidays. I don't want this hanging over our heads over Christmas." Even while she said it, Ginny knew that everything would still be hanging over both of their heads over the holidays.

Hermione nodded again. She was slightly disappointed that they would have to wait, but she knew it was the right thing to do. With a wave of her wand, Ginny removed all the physical sickness from Hermione's body. "You couldn't have done that right when I woke up?" said Hermione, half jokingly.

Ginny smiled at Hermione. They both knew that Ginny was a bit distracted earlier. Ginny kissed Hermione on the hand softly and said, "I'll see you on Christmas, Hermione."

Hermione smiled back. It was one of the first genuine smiles she had had in a long time. "I'll see you at Christmas, Ginny." And just like that, Ginny was gone and Hermione's bedroom felt empty and cold without her.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Hey guys. I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. Real life is getting a bit hectic and I got a bit stuck on this chapter. Hope you like it!

Chapter 7

Christmas was quickly approaching and Ron wouldn't let Hermione out of his sight for more than a minute. Hermione found this rather irritating and tried to get away from him as much as she possibly could. The night at the Leaky Cauldron was a wakeup call for her and she vowed never to binge drink like that again. She didn't have a single urge to drink in those days before Christmas. Hermione was very proud of herself but she thought that the reason might be that Ginny still cared and wanted to talk. Not even her depression could bring her down.

Hermione and her family visited her parents on Christmas Eve. Mr. Granger seemed to be having one of his good days and that put everyone in good spirits. He played with Rose and Hugo and he even had a beer with Ron. Hermione and her mother talk animatedly and made dinner together. When Mrs. Granger noted how cheerful Hermione seemed to be, Hermione just shrugged and continued whatever she was doing.

After dinner, the Weasley family said their goodbyes to the Granger family and left for the Burrow. Molly had invited everyone to sleep over on Christmas Eve. When they walked into the living room of the Burrow, the first person Hermione saw was Ginny who was beaming at her. Hermione beamed back and they shared a seemingly innocent hug.

Hugo and Rose immediately began to play with their cousins while the adults sat and talked and ate sweets that Molly had made. All but Hermione and Ginny were drinking firewhiskey. Ginny didn't want to drink because she didn't want Hermione to feel left out. But when Ron saw Hermione with a glass he confronted her: "What is that?"

Hermione didn't like Ron's tone, "It's butterbeer Ronald. Care to smell it?" The room fell silent except for the kids playing. Everyone had their eyes on Ron and Hermione. At first Ron did nothing but look at his wife with suspicion. Then he took the glass from her and sniffed the golden liquid. When he finished, his eyes darted away from Hermione's glare and his face turned slightly pink. He gave the drink back and walked away.

Hermione was appalled that Ron didn't trust her. She stole a quick glance towards Ginny and saw the same thoughts boiling in her head. Ginny seemed angrier than Hermione and they both knew why. When their eyes met, they both blushed and quickly averted their eyes.

It was getting late and Hermione and Ginny were the last ones still awake. They sat in the kitchen and drank butterbeer together and laughed and joked the whole time. When Hermione began venting about Ron's trust issues, Ginny held her hand. At around one o'clock, they both fell silent and looked at their fingers intertwined together. Hermione gave Ginny an exhausted but warm smile that Ginny returned.

A floorboard creaked somewhere above them and they jumped apart. That was when they decided to finally go to bed and they bade each other goodnight. That night both Hermione and Ginny dreamed about what their lives could've been if Ginny had never left.

When Hermione woke the next morning, the sun was shining through the window and Ginny was looking down at her, smiling. Hermione got caught up in how beautiful she looked with the sun shining through her fiery hair. She beamed back at Ginny, "Good morning."

"Good morning," said Ginny as she lightly kissed Hermione's left temple. Chills ran down Hermione's spine at Ginny's kiss and her stomach did a back flip.

"I thought we weren't going to do this until we talked after the holidays…" said Hermione.

"You know I can't stay away from you that long." Ginny curled up on the bed beside her and nuzzled against her shoulder.

Hermione didn't make a move. She just stared at the ceiling, "You seemed to manage pretty well in the past seven years."

Ginny moved away from Hermione and sat up. "That's not true, Hermione. I left for you. I couldn't stand to see you hurting like you were because of me. I know now that I was wrong to leave you. It hurt you more than I ever imagined it would."

"You're damn right it did," said Hermione coldly. "How could you do that to me?"

Ginny was trying to blink away tears and her voice was wavering, "I thought it was better for you. I'm so sorry, love. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know right now Ginny. I need to think about it." At that, Hermione got up and left the room. Before she shut the door, Hermione looked back and saw Ginny sitting at the edge of the bed. She was looking at her hands as they slowly filled with tears. Hermione quickly shut the door and leaned back against it. Where had she seen that image before? Déjà vu had enveloped her as she tried to figure out why that was so familiar.

Hermione tried to shake the feeling as she came down the stairs. In the living room of the Burrow sat the Weasley and Potter families opening their presents. The children seemed to be buried in wrapping paper. There were only two small piles of unopened gifts. One was for Hermione and the other was for Ginny.

"Happy Christmas Hermione!" said Harry as he beamed brightly at her. "I'm sorry we didn't wait for you but we couldn't hold the kids back any longer." Harry chuckled and kissed Lily Potter on the top of the head. She was sitting on Harry's lap enjoying a toy wand her parents got for her. Ron didn't even look up when Hermione entered the room. He was busy ogling over a Chudley Cannons jersey with his name on it that Harry gave him. To Hermione's dismay, she saw the watch she had bought for him had been tossed aside. Rose had picked it up and was looking at it with interest. Hermione wanted to cry but she held it in and put on a false smile as she spent the rest of the day with her family.

When Ginny finally came down, she had also put on a false smile as she wished everyone a happy Christmas. Hermione could see right through the smile and she saw the anguish in Ginny's eyes. It killed her that she wasn't able to comfort Ginny, but Hermione was also angry at her for wanting to come back to her after all this time.

A week had passed and Hermione had not heard from Ginny at all. As upset and hurt as Ginny was, she wanted to give Hermione space to think things over and Hermione respected that. She loved Ginny with all of her heart but she was afraid of getting hurt again. Hermione had to decide what to do about this but she didn't know what.

"I'm going to go and visit Neville today," said Hermione to Ron one morning about a week after Christmas. "Do you think you could find someone to watch the kids for me?" To Ron's relief, Hermione had agreed to take a month off of work after her incident at the Leaky Cauldron. On a normal day Hermione would watch Rose and Hugo all day, but today she needed a break to figure things out.

"Sure. I'll drop them off with Ginny before I go to work." The sound of her name caused Hermione's heart to skip a beat. She nodded and went up to take a shower.

By the time she had finished, she had the house to herself. Hermione sent an owl to Hogwarts, asking Neville if she could come and see him. When the reply returned, Neville stated that she was welcome to Hogwarts anytime but that she had to wait until lunch to talk to him since he had classes to teach.

At around noon, Hermione aparated to just outside of Hogwarts grounds and strode towards the main gate. She arrived at the gate just as Neville jogged up to meet her. The gate opened and Hermione rushed in to give Neville a tight hug. Neville hugged her back with almost as much force. "What's the matter, Hermione?"

"It's Ginny." Hermione's eyes welled with tears but she blinked them away. A look of understanding flowed through Neville's face and he led her into his office in the greenhouses. They had tea while Hermione filled Neville in on recent events. Many emotions passed over Neville's face during their talk but surprise was not one of them. After tea, the two of them went to sit by the lake. Surprisingly there was no snow on the ground. The sun was pale and shining down on them and the air was brisk.

"I don't know what to do Neville," said Hermione, "I love Ginny with all of my heart and soul, but I also have to think about Ron and our kids. I can't hurt them like that." She leaned her head back and closed her eyes and wished that everything would just go away. "And she hurt me, Neville. She hurt me terribly. I was never the same after she left and I have scars to prove it!" Her heart seemed to pound harder against the long scar on her chest. Tears began to roll down her cheek. The reflection of the lake was showing in her eyes.

"How could she just leave?" she whispered more to herself than to Neville, "How could someone who loved me so much hurt me so badly?"

"She did it for you," said Neville softly, "Ginny saw you were in pain and she tried to fix it as best she could. She still loves you, Hermione. I think she has always loved you."

"She loves Harry now," said Hermione. Ice was creeping into her voice, "Why do you think she agreed to marry him so soon after she left? Did she ever even love me? Maybe that's why she tried to keep our relationship in the closet." Before she could say any more, Hermione had broken into sobs.

"Hermione," Neville's voice was firm now, "Don't you ever say that. Don't you ever question it. Ginny loved you, she loves you now, and she will always love you. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe Ginny ran back to Harry so quickly because she was in just as much pain as you were? I don't doubt that she was trying to distract herself from the pain of giving you up. Now she is finally learning that you can live a lie for only so long. She knows now that you can never silence the heart and she wants to make amends for it.

"Unfortunately, Ginny is a very self centered woman. I think the only other person she ever thinks about in depth is you. So naturally she wouldn't figure this out until now. If you truly love Ginny, than you have to love everything about her. You don't have to like it, but that is how the world works. Ron will learn to accept it and your kids will love you no matter what. If you really want my advice, here it is: follow your heart. When was the last time you made a decision based on what you wanted?"  
Hermione stopped sobbing and wiped her eyes. Neville's words were echoing in her head. She had never looked at it from that angle before. Hermione considered herself to be pretty intelligent, but when it came to her love life, she felt clueless.

An overwhelming urge came over Hermione to go see Ginny. Excitement fluttered in her stomach at the thought of seeing her. She gave Neville one more tight embrace and thanked him for everything before she sprinted towards the edge of the grounds.

Hermione aparated straight to Ginny and Harry's front door and she knocked. Ginny answered the door and even though she looked distraught, there was still a gleam in her eye when she saw Hermione standing on her doorstep. It wasn't until then that Hermione realized how cold she really was. She felt like she was melting just by gazing into Ginny's eyes.

"How's Neville?" Ginny said his name with the slightest hint of bitterness in her voice.

Hermione didn't respond. She was still out of breath from running across the Hogwarts grounds. Instead of trying to find the words to describe how she was feeling, Hermione took Ginny's warm face in her cold hands and kissed her hard on the lips.

At first Ginny did not move. She was in shock that Hermione would kiss her like that. But then she wrapped her arms around Hermione's waist and pulled her as close as she could possibly get. After a full minute, they were forced to break apart. The sounds of their children playing brought them back to reality. They were both out of breath now and looking at each other. Hermione laughed. It was a hearty laugh that Ginny had not heard in over seven years. That beautiful sound was contagious and soon they were both laughing and hugging.

They stopped when they saw all of the kids standing close to them and staring at them as if they had gone mad. The looks on their faces made Hermione and Ginny laugh even harder. When their fit of laughter was finally finished, Hermione decided it was time to go home. Hermione picked up Hugo, said goodbye to everyone and ushered Rose into the fireplace so they could floo home. Before Hermione threw the floo powder, Ginny said hurriedly, "I'll be sure to write to you Hermione!"

When they arrived home, Hermione put Hugo down for a nap that he desperately needed and lit a fire in fireplace. Not long after she sat down to watch the dancing flames, Rose climbed into her lap. Hermione sat and held her daughter (who was slowly starting to fall asleep) and she smiled to herself as she thought about the kiss her and Ginny had shared until her husband came home.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: I know it's been way too long since I've last posted a chapter. I apologize. I'm going to try harder now to keep on writing for you guys. As always I hope you enjoy!

p.s.: I'm sorry but this is a relatively short chapter.

Chapter 8

Hermione Weasley, Ginny Potter, and Luna and Neville Longbottom sat in Hermione's kitchen. The sound of Harry and Ron's laughter drifted in through the window along with the smell of chicken on a muggle grill. It was Ron's idea to have the Potter's and the Longbottom's over for a muggle barbeque. Since Ron wasn't much of a cook with or without his wand, Hermione had secretly prepared an extra meal for after Ron set the poor grill on fire. The chicken smelled like they were done but Ron and Harry were still joking around and drinking firewhiskey without any signs of stopping.

Hermione was looking out the kitchen window but wasn't paying attention to what Harry and Ron were doing or talking about. She stared into space as if in deep thought.

"Hermione, are you listening?" said Neville but to no avail. Hermione remained in her trance.

Ginny noticed that she had been cleaning the same spoon for the past 15 minutes. She walked over and whispered in Hermione's ear and put her hand on the small of her back, "Are you alright, love?"

Hermione jumped and dropped the spoon on the floor. At first anger flared in Hermione's eyes, but when she saw Ginny, her expression softened. She gave Ginny a warm but gentle smile before picking up the spoon from the floor and washing it again. This time instead of washing the spoon absent-mindedly for 15 minutes, she and Ginny went to sit at the kitchen table with Neville and Luna.

"I'm sorry Neville. What were you saying?" Hermione said politely.

"I asked you what you two are going to do about this." said Neville, meaning the kiss that Hermione and Ginny had shared two weeks prior.

Ever since that kiss happened, Hermione and Ginny had been sending letters to each other constantly. They were mostly love letters. Hermione kept hers rolled up in a sock under her and Ron's bed.

Hermione blushed slightly but Ginny just gazed at Hermione, half expecting her to come up with a genius plan for them to live their lives together peacefully and happily in love without hurting anyone. They both knew in their hearts that that was impossible. It was a fool's hope.

To Ginny's disappointment, Hermione shook her head slightly and answered a simple, "I dunno." Hermione saw Ginny's disappointment and held her hand. "Do you have any ideas, Ginny?"

Pausing for a few seconds, Ginny thought about what to do. "We leave Harry and Ron of course."

"Ginny it's not that simple. We can't just leave them out of nowhere." Hermione said wearily.

"Well would you rather wait until one of them finds out the hard way and tells the other?" said Ginny. She was getting frustrated at the whole situation.

"No! Of course not. I just don't want either of them to get hurt…"

"They're going to get hurt either way, Hermione. If they really love us, they'll be hurt no matter how they find out. We need to break it to them as gently as possible." Ginny hid her face in her hands and sighed heavily.

Hermione sighed as well, "How the hell do we tell our husbands gently that we're lesbians?"

"If I may intrude," said Luna. She looked at the two women with sympathy in her eyes, "Two women being in love does not necessarily mean that they are lesbians. If the two of you were lesbians, then you would have moved on to other women instead of Harry and Ron when you broke up." She gave the two lovers a bright smile as if she had fixed all of their problems.

Hermione nodded in agreement but said nothing. She was thinking about her children. What was she going to tell them? Silence fell amongst the group and they could hear their children's soft laughter from their bedrooms upstairs mixing in with Harry and Ron's joking and laughter of their own. Ginny turned pale as the same thought of her children occurred to her. The children were a much larger issue than the husbands were.

Hermione could smell the chicken burning now. Pretty soon it the grill would catch fire and she would have to put it out because by the sound of it, Ron was too drunk. All these conundrums were giving her a headache so Hermione nuzzled Ginny's shoulder and that proved for a decent head massage. Ginny smiled and kissed the top of her lover's head.

Later that night, Harry had built a green bonfire and everyone but Hermione and Ginny were out there watching its green glow in awe.

"We should both tell them at the same time. That way neither of them hear it from somebody else." said Hermione.

Ginny was squeezing her hand tightly, "Deal."

Hermione rested her head on Ginny's shoulder again and Ginny put her arm around Hermione's shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Everything will be alright, love."

Hermione looked up at her with genuine concern in her eyes, "I hope so, darling."

As they sat there feeling the electricity of their touch bounce back and forth between them, Ginny started to smile. She got up and walked out of sight into the kitchen for a few seconds, leaving Hermione to swim in her confusion.

Ginny came back in sort of a rush, grabbing Hermione's hand and pulling her to her feet. Hermione couldn't help but giggle at Ginny's spontaneous attitude so she let herself be dragged upstairs by her hand.

When they reached the bedroom, Ginny cupped Hermione's face in her hands and gave her the longest, most passionate kiss she had ever given anybody before. Hermione rose into euphoria. It felt like she was sailing on a cloud and seeing the world within what seemed like hours was only a few minutes. Then Hermione kissed her back and before either one could stop the other, they were entangled in each other's arms. They could barely breathe but they kept going. Who knew when they would get to do this again. They may have talked about telling their husbands soon but both of them were so afraid to do so that they would put it off until the very last minute.

Ginny gently pushed Hermione on the bed and lay on top of her, kissing her neck and nibbling on her earlobe. Neither of them wanted to stop and neither of them did. They kept going until they felt that immense pleasure that only the other woman could give to them. The both of them tried to hold in their moans but the pleasure was so great that it was impossible to do so.

When they had tired out they lay on Hermione and Ron's bed, naked. Hermione licked Ginny's cheek and Ginny giggled and held her close. She held Hermione so close that she could hear Ginny's heartbeat. Hermione put her fingers on Ginny's chest and let her pulse reverberate through her fingertips like an electric current. They both giggled and kissed softly on the lips.

It wasn't until after that kiss that they saw a very disgruntled Ron Weasley standing in the doorway. Fists clenched until his knuckles were white. Hermione's eyes went wide as she took in what was happening. Before either of the women could say anything, Ron was out the door. A few seconds later, Ginny and Hermione heard the front door close with a loud _BANG_! Hermione wrapped herself with the blanket from the bed (leaving Ginny exposed) and ran to the front window. She looked out just in time to see Ron disappear into thin air.


	9. Chapter 9

I know. I know. I'm a horrible writer for leaving you guys hanging for so long. I'm terribly sorry.

Chapter 9

Hermione stared blankly into space; ignoring everything around her. Even the sounds of Ginny rapping on the door, begging her to come out. Ironically, Hermione was in her closet. She had been in there for an hour and Ginny's knocks had become less frequent. Occasionally Luna would try to coax her out but to no avail.

Her thoughts were racing through her head. Hermione refused to cry, but she had so much weighing down on her. Her father's sickness loomed over her wherever she went. The love of her life suddenly wanted to get back together after seven years. Her husband had found this out in the worst ways possible and left. But what she thought about the most was how she would explain this to her children. They were both too young to understand much of the situation. All they would understand is that Daddy left them and it was Mummy's fault.

_How am I going to do this?_ She thought. _Will Ron come back? Where is he now? What will he tell Rose and Hugo? How angry is he? And what about Ginny? Will she tell Harry before Ron does if he hasn't already? News of this will spread now that Ron knows._

Her next thought was of Ginny. Was it right to just rush back into her arms now that Ron was gone? No. _I need time. _She thought. _I love Ginny with all of my heart but this is all happening way too quickly. And what about Harry? He found me and brought me home from the Leaky Cauldron before Christmas. I refuse to just flaunt my relationship with Ginny in front of him so soon after their marriage falls apart. I can't hurt him like that. Let Harry and Ginny work things out for themselves._

Hermione wanted to just crawl into bed and cry her eyes out, but she refused to shed a single tear. She hated herself when she cried. It made her look and feel weak. Hermione was always very sensitive when she was younger but when she married Ron, she tried her best to keep the crying to a minimum. So whatever emotions she was feeling at the moment, were shoved deep down inside her.

Yet another knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts. Hermione figured that she'd been hiding long enough anyway. Neville's voice came through the door, "Hermione, it's Neville. Why don't you come on out of there?" Hermione obliged and opened the door. She looked over at Ginny just in time to see and look of resentment pass over her eyes, but a second later they were clouded over with concern. Neville stood before her and held out an unopened envelope. "This just came…"

On the front of the envelope was written "To: Hermione Granger" in what looked like a rushed form of Ron's handwriting. The fact that he had used her maiden name was not lost on Hermione. She opened it and as she read it, she became increasingly horrified.

Their marriage was over. That much was obvious. The other part of the letter was about how Ron wanted to take away Rose and Hugo for good. He stated that to be in love with another woman would confuse and traumatize their children, and he would have none of it. Ron claimed that he would stop by the house as soon as possible to pick up Rose and Hugo and take them to the Burrow. Hermione was terrified. She wanted to break down but her maternal instincts kept her calm and intent on keeping her children.

Ginny, Luna, and Neville were watching her reaction to the letter and when she finished, they waited in anticipation for her to explain but Hermione didn't utter a word. She dropped the letter on the floor and immediately rushed around the house to lock all the doors and windows and put a charm on them so that nothing could break through them. She would keep custody of her children even if it killed her.

As she rushed into the kitchen to lock and charm the windows and the back door, she noticed Harry sitting at the table, completely sober. He waited until she had finished locking and charming the back door and windows before he finally spoke with such a sadness in his voice that Hermione could not meet his eyes. His voice was soft and slightly higher than normal. "Hermione…what's happening?"

Hermione's voice wavered. "You should talk to Ginny." And she began walking out of the kitchen.

"No." Harry grabbed Hermione's arm gently before she could escape, "I want to hear it from you."

Hermione sat down at the table, feeling helpless, and when she saw the same helplessness mirrored in Harry's eyes, she couldn't help but tear up. So she told him. She told him about how close she and Ginny became after he had broken up with her before the memorial ceremony. She told him about how they moved in and eventually fell in love. She told him about the two wonderful years they spent together while hiding it from everyone else except Neville and Luna. She told him about the breakup and about Hermione's emotional meltdown. And she told him about the kiss they shared in front of his house and how Ron had walked in on them just an hour ago; naked and in love.

When Hermione finished saying all there was to be said, Harry sat silently for a few minutes, fidgeting with his wedding ring. Finally he spoke up, "I think I always knew…about the two of you…ever since Ginny and I got engaged. She came back to me out of the blue. She never gave me a reason why. She wanted to get married so soon after we got back together. Those are typically signs of a rebound but I think I managed to keep that thought out of my head by thinking that if I was just a rebound, she wouldn't have married me…right?"

Hermione didn't respond. She didn't know what to say. She was sure that Ginny loved Harry to some degree if she married him and stayed with him for so long, but Hermione didn't know what degree that was. After a minute of silence went by, Hermione whispered, "I'm so sorry, Harry." He didn't respond. He only looked down at his hands. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Ginny standing in the doorway. She figured they should be alone to talk so Hermione muttered something about checking on the kids and left the room.

Walking into Rose's room, she found Neville and Luna sitting on the floor and whispering amongst themselves. Rose was flying around James and Albus on her new broom. Her feet dangling only a few inches from the floor. Hugo and Lily were playing with muggle building blocks called "Legos" on the other side of the room. Neville and Luna were unaware that Hermione was standing in the doorway until Hugo cried "Mummy!" and ran up to Hermione and hugged her leg. Lily who didn't want to be left out, ran up and hugged Hermione's other leg. Hermione sat down on the floor and hugged her son and her niece close to her.

"Are you ok Hermione?" Luna asked.

Hermione looked over at Rose who was trying to get her attention so she could watch Rose perform "tricks" on her broom. Hermione smiled at her daughter, who had yet to find out that her parents weren't together anymore, and said "No."


End file.
